Notes on Habits
I remember sitting in a first attempt at couples’ counseling with my ex-husband when the therapist crisply asked me, “How is that serving you?” The question, targeted at the house of cards I had stacked upon faulty coping mechanisms, was intended to help me recognize my role in its undoing; but it wouldn’t be until years later after our marriage blew up (coincidentally, a week into Covid quarantine) that I would realize its prolific wisdom. Habits (we all have them - good, bad, and benign) are behavioral efficiencies intended to serve our interests. We owe it to ourselves to ensure our habits are in alignment with our values, and the greatest good.
End of Year brings an opportunity for such reflection and renewal. Over the past decade, I’ve taken the first day of the New Year in solitude to journal milestones and my insights on the prior 12 months before setting goals for the upcoming year. This process of personal inventory, reflection, and planned growth has been fundamental to some of my most important personal and professional achievements. Other friends make Vision Boards to serve as inspiration for the future they want to manifest - whatever the method; I’ve learned it’s a lot easier to get to Palm Springs when that’s the destination on my map, rather than the place I left behind.
Whole 30 helped me understand this in a very pragmatic way when I first completed in 2020 - as I struggled without wine and dark chocolate for 30 days, I quickly realized it was much more enjoyable discovering new flavor combinations to nourish my body and excite my palate rather than spending each moment in purgatorial deprivation. Within those 30 days, not only did I develop better digestion and an improved relationship with food and alcohol, but I gained confidence in my ability to change some of my most compulsive habits. The only more empowering and sustainable change I’ve made as an adult was quitting smoking in 2015. Both have been incalculably worthwhile.
Although the concept has been in incubation most of my life, 2022 was the year MAVEN finally came to formation. I’ve had a little luck (mostly good, some bad), met some incredibly talented people, made some cool shit, and I’m excited for what the future holds. I am so deeply grateful to the friends and community who have supported me thus far. Here’s to 2023, and all the potential our highest selves can achieve!
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