Notes on Thanksgiving

A perfectly American paradox that we could have such mixed feelings about a holiday focused on the practice of gratitude. On one hand, there's the consideration of European conquest and White-ness' historical tendency to dominate or erase all in its path. However, in my education (we moved around a lot, and I'm biased, as we all are), I remember this holiday as a time of struggle when 2 (really more than 2, if we consider the various Native American nations) conflicting cultures were enduring a hard Winter yet chose to sit together at the same table to share a meal of gratitude.

The story didn't end there. We're struggling so much to make cultural sense of it all that I reconsider before wishing a friendly stranger "Happy Thanksgiving" at the grocery store. Sometimes I do anyways, and receive a (confusing?) "Happy Holidays" in return. It's awkward. Especially because my wishes start with THANKS.

When I was married, I was stepmother to 2 daughters who were raised in homes with different belief systems, but it was important to me to have some type of ritual over dinner together. Instead of praying, we began doing "Grateful For's," where we would take turns naming something we were grateful for (usually prompting more conversation about each other's day or life) for 3 rounds each. Although my intention was to teach, I found myself developing a stronger sense of gratitude throughout my daily life.

All of this to say, on any given day, there's a lot to bitch about. A lot of dark, hard shit to get through. The thing that makes American culture so special, is that we don't settle. What wasn't great then is better now, so long as we keep seeking improvements. Thanksgiving is a day of remembrance, a day of reflection, a day of gratitude. No extra stuffing required.

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