Notes on Venus
There is an allure, so irresistibly compelling about our femininity, some men will go to any length to get it. I was 12 when an uncle told me, “You clean up nice!” and I felt pretty. This part of me has been the curse to end all blessings, though the World would at once give me privilege without protection, trust without boundaries, shame without justice.
Come, sit at my table - there’s more than meets the eye.
No one cares about Norma, and Marilyn’s exploits are more exciting than Jackie’s, but this, that, and the other are only three ways of being. Spoiler - Marilyn denies Norma, Jackie hates Marilyn, and JFK makes out like a bandit (but all 3 lose in the end). We still paint them pretty holding the fondest memories closest to our warped little hearts.
This equation is familiar, abysmally dismissed as a “feminist” reaction to an imagined “patriarchy” by the very same who maintain and benefit from such systems. And yet, as in any abusive environment, both parties suffer. Fragile bodies and minds violated so young, this is why we’re not better wives and mothers raising healthy sons and daughters. Have you called your mother today?
So long as we’re playing this game, let’s make sure Marilyn and Jackie are clawing for the same stupid job at 82%* of John’s wage, while inflation soars and most households require double-income to survive. Have you paid your taxes today? Good thing you’re married, what a break!
At least these folks are white and moneyed, how about when disaster and disease strike the disadvantaged? We’ll say young Norma is black, impoverished, and impregnated by an uncle who tells her to keep a secret. John doesn’t like paying taxes to support black Norma’s baby. John also insists that his god requires this baby live in poverty along with her. Let’s pray Norma miscarries!
Meanwhile gay Norma (black, white, brown, or silver) is overworked because she has no kids and no tax breaks which is often discreetly enjoyed by any colleague who finds an easier way on her account.
If the real Norma Jeane had lived to tell Marilyn’s story, she may have realized abundance just beyond suffering in a state of lack. A problem cannot be solved before it is named, but once the error is identified, it must absolutely be set right. Meaning I stop trying to fix you and find freedom in forgiveness to heal ME. The striving, the numbing, the micro-managing, the blaming, the worrying, the silencing of my soul abated in prayer and practice with the only One who can make me whole again. I must have new life, I gasp and grasp for it with desperation of the dying and hope known only to those calling upon God. And when my amends are complete, first to myself, then to others, discovering divine Grace and profound healing leads me freely and most humbly to your service. Question is, whatever shall you do?
“If women were really people - no more, no less - then all the things that kept them from being full people in our society would have to be changed. And women, once they broke through the feminine mystique and took themselves seriously as people, would see their place on a false pedestal.”
-Betty Friedan
*According to a Pew Research Center analysis of median hourly earnings of both full- and part-time workers in 2022. Compared to 72% from U.S. Census Bureau data in 1996.
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