Notes on Wandering
While born in Pennsylvania, my family moved about every 3 years until I was 12. When we finally settled in Houston, I desperately wanted to be included with the kids who had known each other since preschool, but belonging was a feeling left behind in Austin. When I escaped a purgatorial run through high school, I didn’t apply anywhere else, just came straight back home, the only one I’ve ever known.
The more I’ve traveled, I’ve relished this deep connection to place that goes far beyond lines on a grid or stamps in a passport. Maybe all you can do has already been done, but there is only one me living and breathing and feeling now. As attached as I am to my comforts and routines, I’m ever yearning to know what’s outside of my finely curated box - how it looks and feels and tastes. So I move around a lot, keeps me learning.
When I moved in with my mother in Indiana, a cousin (also divorced) suggested I was “looking for myself.” I bristled. The most lost I’ve ever been was trapped in an abusive marriage. When I take a trip, I get lost for fun, to remember it’s okay to trust myself and the God of the Universe that a holds us all. Never telling who or what you’ll discover.
Little moments of serendipity, like the well-timed stranger who shares a drink and some soulful conversation. Locals love to make recommendations, how I found my favorite pizzeria in Ravello. That time I met a cute German in a discotheque then he showed me around the Pinakothek. I could eat my way through New York, Chicago, San Francisco, and back again. Little wins, like making a friend at Cimetière du Père-Lachaise who can actually understand my hobbled French. Stunned by pink beaches and also the strange colonialism throughout the Bahamas. Imagining myself cultured and being shocked again there is SO MUCH MORE to know, always more to learn.
Returning home to Austin, I got a little more than I bargained for this last trip. Nothing like family to remind us of who we are - and who we are not. Lessons about home and family too - as we grow, we get to choose. The work is to stay open, even when it’s painful, even the parts you’d rather not see - then setting healthy boundaries. Taking it all in, our expectations, the reality, the memories - what’s left of any great trip is the change within, that’s playing for keeps.
“Not all those who wander are lost.”
J.R.R. Tolkien
Editorials are attributed exclusively to Hype Girl Media and may not be reproduced without prior authorization nor associated with unnamed individuals or entities.